It’s negotiable…
Recently I have had a lot of thoughts about negotiation and I’ve finally decided that it is a worthless game. We all know how it works:
- Let the other make the first offer
- No matter what the offer is (no matter if it’s highly in your favor or not), your response must be one of shock and surprise…”Are you kidding me?”
- In our heads, most of us thinking, “I think that it’s fair if the deal comes out 50/50, so I’ll say that it should be 60/40 so he’ll negotiate it his way back up to 50/50.”
- We continue to play the game, not acting too interested, and sometimes even threatening to walk
- In the end, the most aggressive negotiator “wins” because the other just wants to get on with the deal
Is that consistent with your experiences?
Personally, instead of battling back and forth until we come to an agreement, I would rather work together to find something that is mutually beneficial. This type of “negotiation” will in the end pay much larger dividends because your relationship is built on teamwork and trust.
We cant have everything we want at times….
It’s stupid. I had a recent experience with it. It makes you feel like your back in college trying to work your moves with some person you are interested in dating. You want the best, but you’re not willing to show all your cards. And then, you meet someone who you end up marrying, and the cards are all shown.
I’d recommend reading the book “Bargaining for Advantage:Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People” by G Richard Shell. He is a director of the Wharton Executive Negotiation Worshop. In the book he talks about four different personal bargaining styles and that we each have a natural bargaining style with in us. It is better to stick with and perfect our own style and he gives lot’s of examples of how to deal with others of different bargaining styles. Knowing you Brock, I’d say you are a compromisor: looking for the best solution so both parties come out ahead. Of course, each style has its ups and downs. Check it out.
He or she who cares less, wins. That is all negotiation is really about - emotion. If you care less then I do, you really will walk. I won’t, because I care more.
Makes me think of one of my favorite quotes:
“On your way to the top, the more people you take with you the quicker you will get there and the longer you will stay.”
So sometimes, especially if you are the one who cares less, give up a little more then you have to and you might find out that the end result is ultimately what you wanted anyway.